Industry Views

Monday Memo: April Fool!

By Holland Cooke
Consultant

imPick a day, any day. At least one news item will have the little voice in your head hollering “TELL me you’re kidding!” After recent headlines, and as various plots thicken, that little voice might need a lozenge.

In olden times, DJs’ and hosts’ April 1 on-air shenanigans would amuse and/or upset listeners. Some of these gags cost jesters their jobs. Expect less of that today, as the local talent ranks have thinned. Maybe A.I. DJs will come up with something.

As cutbacks were cascading on April 1, 2008, my gallows humor headline was: “Farid himself now voice-tracking True Oldies, using on-air name Fred Soulman, as staff cuts force management on-air. The Mystery Oldie-of-the-Day winner gets 1,000 shares of Citadel stock or $1,000 cash, whichever is less. APRIL FOOL!”

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Back to the future: Many surviving jocks and talkers and newscasters have something in common, what consultants call “word economy.” It’s never been more important than during these dizzying days, but it’s nothing new. All along, those who took only 7 seconds to make a point seemed to be more successful than those who took 17 seconds. When I was a DJ, I stole a line from WABC’s Dan Ingram, who intro’d the Elton John song, “Someone Shaved My Wife Tonight.”

If you’re spinning the hits, streams are spinning more of ‘em, without eight-unit stopsets. So keep it moving. Doing news? Listeners are wondering “What NEXT?” and if you’re telling them, succinctly, they’ll find you helpful and habit-forming. Hosting a talk show? Understand that every other media experience listeners favor is interactive. Busy caller traffic (something local advertisers notice) lets you own topic du jour.

And whether you’re a DJ, news person, or host: Every…single…minute…someone just got in the car. Reset frequently-enough that they’re up-to-speed.

But don’t take my word for it. Being April Fool’s Day, I’ll let these funsters (some immortal) demonstrate this word economy I preach:

“I saw a bank that said ‘24-hour banking,’ but I don’t have that much time.”

— Comedian Steven Wright, my Block Island neighbor

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

Rodney Dangerfield

“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.”

Rita Rudner

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

Groucho Marx

“I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.”

Joan Rivers

Holland Cooke (HollandCooke.com) is a consultant working at the intersection of broadcasting and the Internet. He is the author of The Local Radio Advantage: Your 4-Week Tune-In Tune-Up,” and “Close Like Crazy: Local Direct Leads, Pitches & Specs That Earned the Benjamins” and “Confidential: Negotiation Checklist for Weekend Talk Radio.” Follow HC on Twitter @HollandCooke and connect on LinkedIn.

Industry Views

Monday Memo: The Conscious Shopper

By Holland Cooke
Consultant

Joe Pags - Talkers MagazineWhenever possible, USA consumers will pay cash, and they’re paying-down credit card balances, per recently released Ipsos polling data.

Already coping with inflation and wary of a 2023 recession, consumers are in “need” vs “want” mode. They’re choosing generics and store brands and favoring purchases “made of high-quality and longer-lasting materials.”

One conspicuous exception to this growing frugality jumps-off the page…

Americans have a yen for vacation, if little else

“Alongside declining consumer confidence levels in the U.S., Ipsos online community members believe most of their cost-saving behaviors from the summer will continue, aside from cutting back on travel. Specifically, compared to the summer of 2022, they feel they are less likely to hold back on taking trips outside the home or making travel plans. After living through years of lockdowns and restrictions, they say travel isn’t something they are willing to give up in 2023.”

Graphics - Logo

Sales lead: Local travel agents

Local radio is still local businesses’ best friend defending against e-commerce competitors, and personal service is the silver bullet. Travel is an Internet DYI remorse category, after disappointing experiences squandered bargain shoppers’ precious vacation time and money.

Hear the copy? Travel agents who have taken tour wholesalers’ junkets can recommend in a seductive anecdotal fashion. They describe meals in mouth-watering detail. “After all we’ve been through the last couple years, you’ve earned it! And I will personally see to all the details.”

And brainstorm which other local businesses sell the “experiences” that consumers, increasingly, choose over “things?” It’s a clear trend that cuts-across all demographics.

DJs, talk hosts, remaining promotion people and local newscasters: Read the room.

This IPSOS report is a free PDF download that takes listeners’ temperature.

Holland Cooke (HollandCooke.com) is a consultant working at the intersection of broadcasting and the Internet. He is the author of the E-book and FREE on-air radio features Inflation Hacks: Save Those Benjamins;” and “Spot-On: Commercial Copy Points That Earned The Benjamins,” a FREE download; and “Multiply Your Podcast Subscribers, Without Buying Clicks,” available from Talkers books.  Follow HC on Twitter @HollandCooke

Industry Views

Monday Memo: Baseball Bonanza

By Holland Cooke
Consultant

Joe Pags - Talkers MagazineAs The Beatles sang, “It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter.” Baseball – even Spring Training while it’s still chilly in March – says “Here Comes the Sun.” That’s what baseball means… to listeners.

To local advertisers, it’s an opportunity for The Little Guy to sound big. In the words of one GM – who has made a pile of money selling baseball – “It’s ego and envy.”

Sales: It’s a thing, not a number

 The sponsorship package cannot be quantified on a-cost-per-ANYTHING basis. It’s not “efficient” in agency terms, but baseball is powerful “reputation appropriation.” Translation: Advertisers can tell the world they’re big-enough for baseball.

— The rapid-response plumber, the roofing repair guy, and the lumber yard or hardware store or any independent local retailer slugging-it-out against big box competitors can be part of the Astros or the Braves or the Cardinals or the Dodgers or the Rangers or the Giants brand.

— Low-hanging fruit: Prospects who are, personally, fans. For decades, we’ve been telling reps at conservative talk stations to pitch businesses that fly big American flags. So which local retailers do you know to be baseball fanatics?

— Milk the value-added stuff affiliates get. Include some tickets in the package. Take ‘em to a game and bring ‘em up to the broadcast booth for a selfie with the radio team. Can you rent a sky box for a game and throw a client party?

— Make a list of guys-who-own-guy-stuff businesses. Home improvement and auto repair have always been opportune.

— Second and third-generation retailers might family-feud about other things. But grandfather AND father AND son can agree on this expenditure lots quicker than you can get consensus about a ROS spot package on “Kiss” or “Lite” or “Magic.”

— Baseball is a high-affinity branding opportunity. I don’t know when I will need to buy a tire…because nails lurk. But I already know where I’ll buy it, because they advertise in Red Sox games. And get this! All year long, that particular advertiser says, in all his commercials, in a thick Boston accent, “You go, Red Saux!”

— Warm list: Who’s advertising on stadium signage? That’s an ego clue. But it’s just branding. Radio can add-value to that expense by “telling your story,” and adding a call-to-action.

— Baseball = beer, so prospect DUI defense attorneys, and auto body shops. 😉

— Reps: You’re not calling from KXXX. You’re calling from Padres Radio. The team logo is in your email and sales material.

— Way-back-when: As Mickey Mantle launched one into the cheap seats, Mel Allen would proclaim it “another Ballentine Blast!” Back to the future: I’ve been at games where everyone there got a free something because the team did such-and-such. Can you invent a cool feature for local sponsorship? Every listener who says they heard ___ gets free ____ the next day.

IMPORTANT: Update copy as the season progresses. This is a franchise, not plug-N-play programming that babysits nights and weekends. Nothing says auto-pilot and disserves clients like spots and promos that crow “Baseball is back!” in July.

I was the Motor-Mouth Manager

War story: I programmed WTOP, Washington in the 1980s, long before there were Washington Nationals. We were your Orioles Baseball Station; and I was managing a union shop…but I ended up joining AFTRA because our announcers were newscasters who couldn’t say “Mid-Atlantic Milk Marketing Association” as rapidly as I, an ex-1970s Top 40 DJ.

— So – believe it or not – the company paid my initiation fee. And every time there was a change in that 65 seconds-of-copy-crammed-into the 60-second opening billboard that ticked-off all the sponsors, I got ‘em all in, and I got $10-something in my Pension & Welfare Fund. Sweet. But I digress…

— To OUR ear, that whole word salad sounds hellishly rushed. But to ADVERTISERS, it’s like having your caricature on the wall at the see-and-be-seen steak house. Every business named there is a someone, associated with everyone else there. They’re part of a local Orioles or Mariners or Mets Baseball Who’s Who. And everyone who isn’t isn’t.

— I’ve been on calls with reps closing baseball packages because “It’s worth it just for the promos!” So, include sponsor mentions in ROS promos.

— That said, sell enough in-game frequency to be heard. Two or three spots per game won’t be.

Next week: Avoiding the most common error I hear baseball stations make.

Holland Cooke (HollandCooke.com) is a consultant working at the intersection of broadcasting and the Internet. He is the author of “Multiply Your Podcast Subscribers, Without Buying Clicks,” available from Talkers books; and “Spot-On: Commercial Copy Points That Earned The Benjamins,” a FREE download; and the E-book and FREE on-air radio features Inflation Hacks: Save Those Benjamins.” Follow HC on Twitter @HollandCooke

Front Page News Industry News

Monday, October 31, 2022

Monday Memo: Earwitness News. There are new WCBS/WINS synergies and USA top-biller WTOP offers voluntary separation buyouts. With so many radio voices now in permanent remote mode, and the post-pandemic gig economy flourishing, consultant Holland Cooke describes an opportunity “like Uber for newscasters.” Read his column here.

 

Pending Business: Gear Up for the Holiday Season. The midterm elections are almost history and radio sellers are getting ready for this year’s holiday season. There’s no way of knowing for certain how much consumers will spend and on what, but radio sales pro Steve Lapa writes in today’s column that a look at where Americans are spending now can provide a roadmap to a successful holiday sales season. Read more here.

 

Scott Shannon Announces Retirement. Legendary radio personality Scott Shannon didn’t work in talk radio, but it seems almost criminal not to recognize his announced retirement from his daily morning show. On Friday (10/28), he told his WCBS-FM, New York listeners that is retiring from morning radio on December 16. Among his many achievements in the radio business are his stints at three New York City stations, first at WHTZ-FM “Z100” – which is chronicled in the documentary film, Worst to First: The True Story of Z100 New York – and then at WPLJ-FM. He is credited with the creation of the “morning zoo” concept that was imitated throughout the 1980s. Shannon will continue his other roles with Audacy as host of the nationally syndicated “America’s Greatest Hits” program and the “True Oldies” format on WCBS-HD3.

Hubbard and VSiN Bring Sports Betting Content to Seattle. KNUC-HD2 is the new home of sports gambling radio as Hubbard Radio and VSiN partner in the effort. The press release says, “The station will deliver news and analysis from the industry’s most knowledgeable sports betting experts and legendary book makers to inform and entertain the growing number of people betting on sports. Sister station KIXI-AM 880, will also air “Action Updates” twice each weekday as well as “VSiN PrimeTime” with Tim Murray and former NFL quarterback Shaun King. Hubbard Seattle market manager Trip Reeb comments, “With the incredible growth sports betting has seen in recent years, we saw this as a great opportunity to capitalize on that rapid expansion and the specialized content VSiN delivers.” VSiN content currently airs on more than 140 terrestrial radio stations in 33 states.

iHeartMedia Announces New ‘Glee’ Podcast. The newest podcast for fans of the television hit “Glee!” titled, “And That’s What You REALLY Missed,” is available from iHeartRadio, hosted by Jenna Ushkowitz and Kevin McHale. iHeartRadio says, “Calling all Gleeks! We’re baaaaack…again. Kevin McHale (aka Artie Abrams) and Jenna Ushkowitz (aka Tina Cohen-Chang) are heading back to William McKinley High School to re-watch all six seasons of ‘Glee!’ We’re taking you all the way from McKinley High to New York City, from the choir room to Nationals, and from the Super Bowl to a world tour! We’ll look back on your favorite moments and never before heard stories with a slew of guests including cast, crew, celebrities and you, the fans! So warm up those vocal cords and tune those ears, because it’s all coming out.”

Midterms, Pelosi Attack, January 6/Trump Legal Issues, Russia-Ukraine War, Affirmative Action, The Economy, Brazil Election, and Elon Musk & Twitter Among Top News/Talk Stories Over the Weekend. The debates ahead of the midterm elections and speculation about which party will control the House and the Senate; the aftermath of the attack on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband; the legal battle over former President Donald Trump’s January 6 emails and his other legal issues; Russia’s continuing assault on Ukraine’s infrastructure; the U.S. Supreme Court takes on affirmative action in higher education; inflation and fears of a recession; Lula defeats Bolsonaro in Brazil’s presidential election; and Elon Musk takes control of Twitter were some of the most-talked-about stories on news/talk radio over the weekend, according to ongoing research from TALKERS magazine.