Monday Memo: A.I. Cannot Do This Commercial
By Holland Cooke
Consultant
Actor Hugh Grant’s Tweet called it “The destruction of the human experience. Courtesy of Silicon Valley.” He was reacting to Apple’s TV commercial depicting a hydraulic press crushing a piano, a record player, paint, books, cameras, and other creative tools Artificial Intelligence emulates, via the new iPad Pro.
With many now fearful that technology will obsolete their jobs, Apple yanked the spot: “We missed the mark with this video and we’re sorry.”
Following my recent column cautioning how ChatGPT-generated ads can be cliché-riddled, several TALKERS readers have sent me even more of the cringe-worthy catch-phrases (“And much more!”) that reduce too many ads to blah-blah-blah.
Various vendors are offering – and, increasingly, stations are using – Artificial Intelligence apps to script, and even voice, commercials. It’s a time-saver alright, but is the output compelling?
In some cases, there’s a fill-in-the-blanks form. Other apps crawl the prospect’s website for copy points. When I’m given demonstrations, I suggest a business I’m familiar with. And I’ve yet to hear a script that captures what makes the business special.
For one such demo,’ I chose a restaurant we frequent often, here on Block Island. The copy generated was painfully generic. So – to make the point – I went old-school, using the method that has consistently produced results for client stations and in my freelance work.
My video describing the process “Radio Advertising, In Their Own Words” includes several examples… and here’s another.
The AI robot cannot possibly feel-the-feel anyone who has dined there knows… and can’t spot this opportunity: The chef himself is a story, as entertained customers discover: http://getonthenet.com/TheBarn-BrianHebert-1.mp3
And here’s The Free Prize Inside: People tell advertisers who appear in their spots, “I heard you on the radio!”
More work than simply plugging-into an AI app? You bet. The interview from which I excerpted the sound bites you’ll hear took all of five minutes, and I voiced and assembled the spot in under half an hour.
Everything we do is storytelling.
Holland Cooke (HollandCooke.com) is a consultant working at the intersection of broadcasting and the Internet. He is the author of “Close Like Crazy: Local Direct Leads, Pitches & Specs That Earned the Benjamins” and “The Local Radio Advantage: Your 4-Week Tune-In Tune-Up,” and “Confidential: Negotiation Checklist for Weekend Talk Radio.” Follow HC on Twitter @HollandCooke and connect on LinkedIn.
Ratings – and advertisers’ results – reward what listeners remember, what sticks-out, not clichés that blend-in. So, avoid blah-blah-blah such as…
I asked ChatGPT: “Vendors are now offering radio stations a service that delivers advertising commercial copy generated by AI. Because AI draws from what’s already been done, this risks sound-alike scripts. Is there a list of commercial clichés users should instruct AI to exclude?”
Yesterday’s column
Having written thousands of commercials and promos, I’ve become a copy connoisseur. And, admittedly, a tough grader when it comes to delivery. Sell me and you’re good.
Pick a day, any day. At least one news item will have the little voice in your head hollering “TELL me you’re kidding!” After recent headlines, and as various plots thicken, that little voice might need a lozenge.
Before the bound copy arrived – at which point all work stopped – Arbitron would send “Advances.” Even those topline numbers ground things to a halt, and had some PDs doing cartwheels, others out on the ledge. ‘Seems quaint now.
For spring break this year, Sarah and I revisited Sandals Grand Bahamian all-inclusive resort – NOT inexpensive, and very worth it. We’ve already booked same-week-next-year, and we think we know who we’ll see there then.
Sell a local advertiser a promotion – a contest which awards a major prize from the advertiser’s inventory – to the winner who creates the best commercial for the advertiser.
It’s not your imagination. The world has gone daffy. The USA is all-but boots-on-the-ground in rough neighborhoods around the world. Weather is getting even wackier. The next gun nut could open fire, at any moment, anywhere. 2024 campaign? It’s a long way to November. And even in this rebounding economy, supermarket prices still hit-home… if you can get there.
Radio programming is like any business. Our best prospects are existing customers (getting people already listening to listen more often). And – without spending a dime on outside promotion – we can if the station is known-for-knowing. Set the expectation that we have listeners’ backs and optimize the information we deliver.
If you’re a news/talk station, don’t assume that you own “news radio” in your market. Imaging is important, but it merely talks-the-talk. You walk-the-walk with local news copy that delivers what solid commercial copy does: benefits. Just doing local news makes you special. But do listeners simply hear a station voice… reading something? Are you merely… accurate? Or do you deliver “take-home pay,” unwrapping the story to tell the listener something useful?
If 
Now that every single thing is a political argument, the angry social media conversation about Taylor Swift is unsurprising. And with the Super Bowl looming, the decibel level amps-up.
As The Beatles sang, “It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter.” ‘Still is, eh?
Take a day off. You get one free this year.
After 4G enabled Uber and other apps now-common, inventors are flexing 5G. And grab-the-armrest for what 6G and 7G will bring. Just when we’re blasé about Wi-Fi, we are told that Li-Fi will use light to transmit data.
It’s massive, it’s mind-boggling, and we-the-workin’-press are under strict instructions NOT to call it “The Consumer Electronics Show.” Lotsa luck. 100 thousand+ of us from 150+ countries will descend upon the sprawling Las Vegas Convention Center and other venues up-and-down The Strip.
“Most registered voters avoid the news at least some of the time. Of those who disengage, over half avoid national politics coverage,” according to the “
News flash: Time cannot be managed. But tasks can.
In 
Here’s actual news copy, from Joe Connolly’s business report one morning on WCBS, NY: “One third of all domestic flights are now late, by an average of one hour.”
“If you think radio has problems,” consultant Holland Cooke says, “Netflix et al are to television stations what Pandora et al are to music stations. So local news is TV stations’ silver bullet. And – like radio – their need to promote off-air exceeds their promotion budget.” In this week’s column, he outlines tactics for “partnering with a fellow broadcaster who’s also challenged.” 
I am always impressed when I see-and-hear radio and TV stations swapping product.
